Good Morning

Just a normal morning snuggling in my bed with my boys.
I love their bed heads.
I love soft cozy pajamas even if their white undershirts are getting too small.
I love their stinky breath kisses.
I love their arms and legs wrapped around each other as we snuggle.
I love letting them watch a little show while I try to doze back off to sleep.
I love their giggles and weird dreams that they tell me.
I don't love that these morning snuggles are happening less and less as my boys grow up and wake up earlier and earlier.  What are they so excited about?  I don't get the rush to jump out of a cozy warm bed.  Especially when the temps don't get above zero.  I am all about sleep!

"A Mother Heart"

This last year took a toll on me.  I have felt as if I needed a renewed perspective as a mother.  

After having the babe and starting a new year I felt as if there was no better time then now.  

I decided to get back to the basics.  Cut things from our life that distract us.  Study in the scriptures about mothers and women of faith.  Looking for characteristics and examples of women that are disciples of Christ.  Something I strive to be.  

I found a talk by Julie B. Beck called "A Mother Heart"

I fell in love with the title immediately.  It became my motto, if you will, something that I hope can define me. Here is an excerpt from the talk.  

"Oh, that every girl and woman would have a testimony of her potential for eternal motherhood as she keeps her earthly covenants. “Each is a beloved … daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine … destiny” (“The Family: A Proclamation to the World”). As spirit daughters of God, women “received their first lessons in the world of spirits and were prepared to come forth” (D&C 138:56) on the earth. They were among the “noble and great ones” (D&C 138:55) who “shouted for joy” (Job 38:7) at the creation of the earth because they would be given a physical body with the opportunity to be proven in a mortal sphere (see Abr. 3:25). They wished to work side by side with righteous men to accomplish eternal goals that neither can attain independently.

Female roles did not begin on earth, and they do not end here. A woman who treasures motherhood on earth will treasure motherhood in the world to come, and “where [her] treasure is, there will [her] heart be also” (Matt. 6:21)."  -Julie B. Beck

I am learning a lot in my studies and as I ponder this amazing role, that I "prepared" for and "shouted for joy" to come to this earth to receive,  I have searched what it means to have a "MOTHER HEART" I have come across words like...

nurturer

educated- teaches

a sense of identity and purpose

covenant keeping daughter of God

worketh with her hands

strong testimony of our Savior

goodly parent

priced above rubies

delights in serving

openeth mouth with wisdom

I am having good days and bad days as a mom.  I am not perfect.  

But...

I do know that I chose this. 

I do know that this is a divine calling.

I do know that through the enabling power of the atonement I can turn to my savior for help daily.  

I do know that I treasure my children. 

I do know that they fill my heart with joy.  

I do know that today my "MOTHER HEART" is full.  Full of love and hope for my men!

Dear Harrison

Hello Little.
You my friend are 8 weeks old.
You were prayed into our lives and have changed everything.  In the best way possible.
From the very beginning you have made your presence known and I am convinced you will continue to do that throughout your life.
What an amazing thing being born on this earth and starting out your very own journey.  The one that you are meant to be on.  I am excited to see where life takes you.  I only hope and pray that as your mother I can help guide you and teach you the things you need to know.
You are growing up right before our eyes.
12 lbs  12 oz
23 inches long
80th percentile in both.
You have been so strong from the get go.  You hold your head up like a champ and have been able to roll over since you were 3 days old.  Who does that?!
You are starting to coo and smile.  The best is when you lock eyes and I can feel that you see me. Amazing.
You were blessed on Sunday January 11 in the Erie 2nd ward.  What a special day.  Ben, Sara and kids and GrandMary and Grandpa Tom were able to be there.
You have the deepest blue wide eyes.
I adore your bear cub nose.
You have a stork bite on your forehead and at the nape of your neck.  One of my young women thought you were plagued with zits already.  That won't come until later.
You are slightly bald in the front and have long hair in the back with an ice cream swirl.
Your eyelashes are light colored and aren't thick but they curl perfectly.
You do the cutest nose twitch right when you are about to smile.
You are incredibly ticklish.  You twitch if I even touch your sides while feeding you.  Forget rubbing your back that makes you squirm side to side.
You are sleeping well at night.  Usually only waking up around 4 to eat.  Thank you!
You do get a case of the grumps in the evening.  (that is putting it lightly)
I love sitting with you day in and day out.  I can't get enough of you.  I don't want to set you down because every time I pick you up again you have grown and changed.  I don't want to miss a thing. Notice the hundreds of pictures I have already taken of you.
You have long fingers and long toes.
You coo and make a deep throaty sound in your sleep.
You are a sound guy. You respond to music, running water any loud appliance.
You are quite the boy.  I can't believe you just came into our lives a few short weeks ago.  We all absolutely love and adore everything about you.
I feel so lucky to be your mom.
I love you more everyday.
xox- momma

Dear Lewis

Honey Love.
You are quite the 4 year old.  Anytime you see or hear the number 4 you make sure to tell us that is how old you are.
You my friend are quite the boy.  I love spending time with you day in and day out.
You have been the perfect companion to have during these last months of change.  You are so easy going and laid back and can entertain yourself for hours.  It is really a blessing.
You have quite the imagination.  You are sitting behind me right now surrounded by Captain America, Leonardo, and two knights.  You have a continual conversation going on with your guys and you are a pro at making all of the right sound effects.
At dinner time you are so so silly about eating.  You don't like anything until we actually convince you to try it.  Every night the same thing.  Although you did tell me that you like pizza and green things because ninja turtles are green and they eat pizza.
Speaking of Ninja Turtles.  You love them.  You might be slightly obsessed with them.  Your favorite one changes daily.  I guess it just depends on your mood.  You and your best friend Seamus dress up and can play Ninja Turtles for hours.  Very sweet.  You have all of the characters and the van.  You carry around a pamphlet that came with one of your toys.  It is an advertisement for all of the other ninja turtle stuff available.  You call it your map.  The other day we looked at it for hours.  Just talking about everything you loved and wanted/needed!
You love playing outside in the snow.  You love coming inside for hot chocolate even more!
You are learning your letters and are getting really interested in writing and drawing.  I love the guys that you draw.  The eyes are my favorite.  You concentrate so hard.
Every question that you are asked you answer, "GOOD"  Life is just good.
You are so sensitive and sweet.  You often stop just for a hug or a snuggle.  You give the best kisses.  Puckered little sweet lips!
You love reading stories with me.  Right now your favorite is a christmas I spy book.
You have the hardest head and often bonk us with it.  Painful.
You are pretty patient and content in life but if someone makes you mad, then they better watch out. (Thomas)  You have a fire inside of you.
You hate being asked to help clean something up.  You usually just tell me that you can't and walk away.  We are still working on that.  Hard work never hurt anyone.  Plus all of our hands are needed to make our house work!  You do empty the utensils and make your bed most days.
You are ridiculously coordinated.  You are so brave and do the craziest tricks with your body.  You climb up everything and of course jump off once you get to the top.  We can't go to a play place without some mom freaking out about your one of your stunts.  I am use to it by now.  Your stunts and other mothers reactions.
You still sleep with magic.
Your favorite animals are monkeys.
You have the most beautiful green/gray eyes.  Snuffy eye lashes included.
You are totally into potty words.  Seriously what is so funny about them.  I don't think I will ever understand that one.
You love and adore your baby brother.  You always want to "see his face" and give him hundreds of kisses a day.  This morning I found him with nutella on his head after one of your beloved kisses.
You love bagels with nutella and fruit loops are hugely popular right now.
You still love to dress up.  I love that you still do.  Please don't grow out of that.  Well I guess at least not for a few more years.  Stay this sweet and innocent.  Living in a world of super heroes.  It is quite the perfect life I believe.
You my friend have blessed my life.  You bring love and happiness into our home.  You bring a calmness that is needed.  I adore you.  You melt my heart.
I love you more everyday.
xox-  momma

Dear Thomas

My darling.
You have grown up so much.
You are six years and 252 days old.
You are getting taller every single day.  Those growth spurts are doing a number on your legs at night.
You are still so sweet.  You hold my hand when we walk together.  You love taking care of your baby brother.  Your baby talk voice is the cutest.  "Hey sweety"  I can hear you saying it now!  You love dressing him and helping to change his diaper.  You think that every face he makes is the cutest and you have to tell us about everything!
You are in the 1st grade.  You love school.  You love the organized scheduled environment with constant entertainment.  You have so many friends.  You love recess and get so excited about eating school lunch.  I think it is weird, but you are your fathers son.  You are doing really well and I love to see all of your hard work and efforts produce such quality work.  You are learning so much.  More than just math and spelling.  The only thing you seem to really struggle with is talking too much.  My little social one.
You love eating.  You eat more than I do most nights at dinner.  I love that you are willing to try everything at least once.  Thank you for not being picky.
You love drawing and coloring and painting.  Quite the artist.  You really are talented and come up with amazing creations.  You just helped me with a paint by number of horses.  You may have stained one of your shirts and spilled black paint all over our rug... all for the sake of creativity I guess.  (I only say that because I hate the rug and can't wait to throw it away)
You are playing basketball right now.  You get so excited for your games each week.  You love that you get your very own jersey.  Number 4.  Your team is the Oklahoma Sooners.  One boy you played against had a mouth piece... that is all you talked about that day.  You really want to impress your dad.  You look up to him a lot.  That is a great thing.  He is a good guy to look up to.  Just remember we are proud of you always and just want you to do things you enjoy doing.  Don't ever do it for us.  You are amazing at defense.  Very intense.  It has been fun to see you grow and improve throughout the season.  Remember to be teachable.  There is a lot to learn in life.  You have been playing basketball in your bedroom every night before bed in your Paul Millsap jersey.  You always have to be dressed in the appropriate sports attire.  You are particular and appearance is important to you.
You love playing outside in the snow with friends after school.  You sled.  Build snowmen.  Jump off the deck.  Shovel.  Sled some more.  It doesn't matter what the temperature is, you would stay out there all day.  You are a great friend.  That is a great quality.
You are one determined boy.
You have a strong will and sweet spirit all at once.
You hate to be told no.
You always want to be in control.
You act much older than your age.  I expect too much out of you because of this.  I really try not too.  I am learning just like you are.  Please continue to be patient and forgive me.  I need it.
You love to have your legs rubbed before bed.
You hate when I suggest reading when you are bored.  But, read very well.
You are high energy constantly.  You almost never sit still for a few consecutive minutes.
You have a sweet testimony of the doctrines of the gospel.  You say the most sincere prayers.
You are quite the helper.  You empty the dishwasher.  Make your bed.  "clean" your room.  Organize the basement toys.  You love to organize.  You run errands around the house for me and hardly ever complain when you are asked.
You made me a mother for the first time.  I felt instant unconditional love for the first time when you came into my world.  I will never forget that moment of holding you for the first time.  You are my world.  I learn so much because of you and I will be forever grateful for you because of that.  I adore your chipmunk laugh.  I adore your creativeness.  I adore your passion and energy for life, even if I can't always keep up.  I adore you.
I love you more everyday.
xox-  Momma

Happenings as of late

We have been so lucky to have family come into town the last few months.
We have loved showing them our simple lives and just being with them.

In December the weather was abnormally warm and we were able to take a walk as a family to the park.

Harrison was blessed.  What a special day.

We have gone to basketball games.

Stayed inside out of the cold as much as possible.  The warm didn't last too long!

Visited Fuhrmans more times than we should!

Stayed in a hotel and went swimming.  Multiple times.

Snuggled with baby brother.

Got a black eye.  A real shiner.
This is our life in a nut shell.  Very hectic and laid back all at the same time!  Crazy how that can be.